Dear John
by Brit-mancer85
Summary: Suzie has a one night stand and might be pregnant. FEM-SLASH Suzie/Caroline
1. Mistake

**Author's Note: Hooray for my first story! It took me three months to write this and I'm pretty proud of it. I hope you enjoy it and please comment.**

Dear John

Chapter 1: Mistake

Suzie paced up and down in her living room, wringing her hands and slightly perspiring. She had big news but couldn't tell anyone for fear of being judged...she couldn't even tell Caroline. Taking a deep breath she finally sits in a nearby chair. Thoughts are running through her mind a mile a minute, how could this have happened?

Standing quickly she goes to the kitchen to get a drink of something, anything. Suzie looks in the fridge and grabs some orange juice and chugs it ravenously from the carton. As she was putting it back on the shelf it slips out of her hand and falls to the floor. She picks it up and returns it to its proper place. She goes back into the living room to contemplate further. Suzie realizes she needs to tell someone who can help her with this predicament so she decides to call Sal. With trembling fingers she dials the number.

"Hello?" Hearing Sal's voice made tears flood Suzie's eyes.

"Sal? It's Suzie. I need to talk to you about something important, can I come round?"

"Of course. I'll see you soon, then"

"Thanks very much, Sal!" She breathes a sigh of relief. "I'll be over. Bye-bye."

Grabbing her coat, she's out the door. She sprinted the 10 minute journey and knocks on the front door.

"Come on in, Suzie, I just put the kettle on." Suzie enters and walks into the kitchen where Sal pours her a cup of tea. Suzie can feel the tears stinging again but doesn't try to stop them this time. A few ran down her cheeks

and she brushes them away.

"Sal, I've done something terrible! I don't know what I'm going to do."

"What's happened?"

"Well... I think I'm pregnant but it might not belong to Charles."


	2. Proof Positive

**Chapter 2: Proof Positive**

After a few cups of tea, Suzie finally calms down. Her make-up was smeared from crying. She wiped her nose with a napkin and stood up to walk to the

front room. Sal follows her and they both sit on the sofa.

"I'll go to the surgery and get you a pregnancy test." But how could she get in? James made her return the keys. "Though we'll need Tip to unlock the door."

"She'll have to know?"

"Yes but she can be trusted so don't worry."

Suzie exhaled sharply. She didn't know Tip that well but hoped Sal was right about her trustworthiness. Sal rubbed her back comfortingly and went to call Tip. Suzie remained on the sofa staring into space wondering how she could have been so thoughtless. About two minutes later Sal returned and said to meet Tip at the surgery. They walked since it wasn't that far and found they were early but not by much; Tip walked around the corner seconds after they arrived. She unlocked the door, they enter and prep Suzie for the pregnancy test. As Sal was examining the urine sample Suzie was on pins and needles in the waiting room. Tip tries to lighten the moment by starting a conversation... if only she knew what to say. No need since Suzie beat her to the punch.

"Even though we've never really conversed before, I would appreciate it greatly if you never tell anyone about this."

"Not to worry, the person I would have told already knows so there's no point then, is there?" Even though Suzie was taken aback by that, Tip's smooth voice clad with an Irish accent somehow gave her comfort. The door to the lab opened and Sal stood there removing her gloves. Suzie quickly stood, awaiting the verdict.

"Suzie, you're pregnant."


	3. Here Comes The Rain Again

**Chapter 3: Here Comes the Rain Again**

Suzie woke up on the floor of the surgery, her head resting on Tip's lap. Sal applied a cold cloth to her forehead.

"Suzie, what are you going to do about the baby?" Sal asked. Suzie looked up and her and rubbed her eyes, thinking about the posed question.

"I'm not sure. Maybe I won't have to do anything because Charles will kill me when he finds out." Her voice quivered. Sal helped her to her feet, said goodbye to Tip and returned to Sal's house. On the way it began to downpour but they kept walking at a regular pace.

Thank you for your help today, it really meant a lot. I'm just so scared about what to tell Charles."

"Everything will be fine, just tell him the truth. That's all you can do, really."

"Well, I'm off back home. Talk to you later."

"Good luck, Suzie."

Later that night, Charles was watching television. Suzie came in from the kitchen and sat in the chair next to the sofa. She sat there looking at anything other than him. Since he came home from work they hadn't said much to each other. Maybe this will be easier than I thought, Suzie realized. It had seemed forever since they last had an actual conversation about each other's daily occurrences.

"Charles? I have something to tell you."

"Can it wait till later?"

"Not really, it's pretty important."

"Then what is it, Suzie?"

"I'm pregnant. I got a little drunk one night at the pub and had a one night stand. It was wrong and it'll never happen again." Charles sat there, staring into space.

"What are you going to do about the baby?"

"I haven't decided. I might keep it."

"Why would you keep a child from a complete stranger?"

"Well it's not like you would give me another child."

"What makes you think that?"

"You've never talked about having another baby come to think of it, we never seem to talk about anything anymore. I've been thinking about our marriage, lately and, well, I don't think I love you anymore."

"Do you want me to leave then?"

"No, I'll go. I really appreciate you being so calm about this."

"Truthfully, I've been thinking about leaving for a couple months now."

"Then why have you waited this long? Were you waiting for something like this to happen so you wouldn't look like the bad guy?"

"No."

"Tomorrow I'll be out of your life, just that simple."

"Do you need money for a hotel or anything?"

"I've saved some money over the years in case of emergencies, but thanks for the concern."

"I really hate that it's come to this, Suzie."

"Me too, Charlie."

Suzie went upstairs and packed a few bags. After she closed the last one she sat on the bed and looked around the room; she'd never see it again. Placing the bags on the floor, she crawled into bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. Charles fell asleep on the sofa downstairs. The rain tapped on the window as Suzie drifted off into dormancy.


	4. Sweet Caroline

**Chapter 4: Sweet Caroline**

The next morning she awoke to the rain still falling, her pillow was still damp from crying herself to sleep. She let her eyes adjust to the bright light streaming in until she felt a queasy feeling in her stomach. Oh great, she thought, morning sickness and she ran to the bathroom. Just as she knelt down to the toilet, the queasiness subsided. Hmm, false alarm, I suppose. She returned to the bedroom to get dressed for the day and walked slowly down the stairs to the front door. Charles had already left for work. Since he was gone she saw no need not to make herself a cup of coffee, he was kind enough to leave a cups worth in the pot. Suzie sat at the table and looked around, knowing she'd never see this room or this house ever again. She finished the coffee and grabbed her bags in the front room and walked out the door for the last time.

Suzie wasn't sure where she was going but last night she contemplated going to Caroline's. Caroline had been such a great friend but Suzie didn't want to impose although there was no problem in simply having someone to talk to. She proceeded to change her course to Caroline's. It was still early in the morning and the little village was pretty empty. Her breath was visible and her feet crunched the leaves falling from the trees. Finally, after traveling for what seemed forever, Caroline's house came into view. Suzie let out an exasperated sigh as she went to the door and rang the bell. Her hands were sweating in the anticipation of the door opening, hoping Caroline would be awake. There was shuffling along with Caroline's voice shooing the dogs out of the way.

"Ah, Suzie! What are you doing here so early?" She noticed the bags by her side. "Are you going somewhere?"

"No, actually I left Charles. I feel so guilty asking this but can I stay here until I find something more suitable?"

"Well of course you can. I'll have John make up the guest room. Please come in out of the cold."

"Thank you so much!" Suzie absentmindedly grabbed Caroline in for a hug. She gasped in surprise and returned the embrace halfheartedly. Helping Suzie with her bags, they both went up to the guest room and then back down to the kitchen.

"Would you like some coffee?"

"No thanks, I had some before coming here. I really appreciate you doing this for me."

"It's no trouble, you've been a good friend. Why did you leave Charles, by the way?"

"I got really drunk and had a one night stand and now I'm pregnant." Caroline's cup slipped from her hand onto the floor and shattered. It took a few seconds for her to acknowledge the cup and grabbed a towel while Suzie ran for the broom. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Caroline! I shouldn't have blurted that out so casually."

"Don't worry about it, it's really fine. I was just a little shocked. Never mind about the cup, it was a wedding present from John's mother, absolutely dreadful." Caroline took the broom and swept up the broken porcelain. She put the pieces into the bin and returned to her seat at the table.

"Are you certain you're pregnant?"

"Yes, Sal tested me and it was positive."

"Well you know, tests aren't always accurate the first time. Maybe it's actually negative."

"You think? I should have her check again. So possibly this whole thing is just a misunderstanding. Thanks, Caroline, I feel so much better! I'm going over to Sal's right now. Oh, wait: even if it is negative Charles would never take me back. What I did is pretty unforgivable."

"But if he loves you he's sure to forgive you."

"Actually we discussed it last night-he told me that he was thinking of leaving me for awhile. Plus I don't really love him anymore, I'm in love with someone else." She looked across the table to Caroline and felt her cheeks getting hot. Suzie never noticed how utterly beautiful Caroline was and she couldn't believe she hadn't seen it all the years they've been friends. _But it's impossible for her to feel the same way towards me, she's happily married with three wonderful daughters._

"You do? Have I ever met this person?"

"In a way, yes you have. You probably know more about them than anyone."

"Well, don't leave me guessing, who is it?"

"It's you, Caroline."


	5. I Can't Be Your Friend Anymore

**Chapter 5: I Can't Be Your Friend Anymore**

"What do you mean it's me?" Caroline felt her face get hot.

"I've always had feelings for you. Whenever we're together I can't help staring at you and when we're apart I can't stop thinking about you. I don't expect you to return those feelings but it just feels so good to finally tell anyone about it."

"Suzie, I'm very flattered but I'm married. I can't just give all that up." Caroling stood up suddenly and walked towards the door. "I'm very sorry but I just can't handle this right now. We'll talk about this later, I need some time to think." She walked out the front door and down the driveway. She just walked and though about what had just happened. Caroline needed to discuss this with someone and the only name that came to mind was Sal. She quickly turned around and began trekking to Sal's house. The garden wall was suddenly visible and she knocked on the door. There was no answer which made her knock again. Still no answer. Giving up, she turned to leave just as Sal came around the wall.

"Caroline, what a surprise. I'm just coming from the market." Sal noticed the nervous expression in Caroline's eyes and had a feeling something was wrong. "Is everything alright?"

"Not really, can we talk inside?"

"Of course, I'm not going to let us stand out in the cold, come on in." They entered the front room and Sal went into the kitchen to drop the groceries and to make tea. Caroline followed and sat at the table.

"So, what happened, Caroline?"

"Suzie has left Charles and is staying at my house. Well, we were in the kitchen talking and she told me she has feelings for me. She always has and I had to get some fresh air to clear my head and do some thinking and wanted to come to you for some advice. What should I do?"

"Do you feel the same for her?"

Caroline's eyes started to fill up with tears. "I don't know, maybe I do. But I love John and we're happy together. I can't leave him and our family." The tears spilled down her cheeks and Sal grabbed her a napkin.

"Maybe you should do some more thinking and then go talk to Suzie. Figure out if you feel the same way and then discuss it with her. Also tell John about your feelings."

"He won't understand, he doesn't believe in this type of thing." She finished her tea and got up. "I have to go now. Thanks for your help."

"You're welcome and good luck."

After walking around for awhile, Caroline returned home. Once inside, she leaned against the heavy wooden door and closed her eyes for a moment. Exhaling, she returned to reality and pushed off the door looking for Suzie. She was in the guest room and had her things unpacked already. Caroline softly rapped on the door, Suzie turned and gave her a subtle smile. Caroline returned the gesture and closed the door behind her. She walked over and sat next to Suzie on the bed. Suzie looked at her in a somber way and Caroline decided to do what she tried so hard to work up the courage for: she grabbed Suzie's cheeks and kissed her. When they pulled apart, Suzie had shed a few tears and Caroline wiped them away.

"I think I love you too, Suzie." Both women sighed, smiling and kissed each other again.

"What are we going to do? Are you going to leave John?"

"I guess I'll have to, I'm not sure how to break this to him. What about the girls?"

"They're old enough to understand." Suzie stroke Caroline's jaw, trailing her finger down her neck.

"John had to go out of town for work but he'll be back tomorrow, I'll tell him then. Well, I'm going to get ready for bed, big day tomorrow." Caroline gave Suzie a peck on the cheek and left the room.

Suzie also prepared for sleep; tomorrow she was going back to Sal's for another pregnancy test. She rested her head on the pillow and soon fell asleep. At about 2am, she woke to someone knocking on her door. She told whoever it was to come in. Caroline opened the door and walked over to the bed. They exchanged some glances in the dark room and Suzie realized Caroline didn't want to sleep alone. She pulled back the duvet and Caroline climbed in and cuddled closely to Suzie, wrapping their arms around one another and fell asleep together.


	6. Dear John

Chapter 6: Dear John

Six AM the next morning, John returned from work to find the bed empty and cold. He wondered why Caroline would have been awake so early. He went to look for her in the kitchen but it was vacant. Finally he found her in the guest room, still snuggled comfortably with Suzie. Little did he know, it wasn't as innocent as he thought.

The sun streaming through the curtains had no effect on the sleeping women and they continued dreaming for a few more hours. By the time they finally arose, they were the only two in the house, everyone else had gone about their daily lives.

"Good morning." Suzie said with a smile. Caroline responded with a kiss.

"So... today's the big day. Are you sure you actually want to leave, Caroline? You know you don't have to just to make me happy."

"Don't worry, I'm leaving because I want to. I love you, Suzie."

"I love you, too."

Caroline went upstairs to pack and Suzie left for Sal's to get another pregnancy test done. As she was packing, Caroline thought out a letter to leave:

Dear John,

I'm very sorry to have to tell you this in a letter but I felt it would be easier to explain: I'm leaving and I don't think I'm coming back. I still love you and the girls but I just feel so useless here. Our children are all grown and don't need me anymore and you've always had your own life. Suzie and I are moving somewhere and I'm going to help her take care of her baby, it'll be nice to go where I'm needed. She's always been a great friend and I love her.

Please tell the girls I love and will miss them very much. As for you, John, if you want a divorce, there will be no problem with that; the papers will be sent to you in a couple weeks. I wish you all the very best.

Love always,

Caroline

A tear fell onto the bottom of the page and her hand shook as she signed her name. She placed it on his side of the bed and took the suitcases downstairs.

Meanwhile Suzie and Sal were back at the surgery. Sal was in the lab and Suzie was in the waiting room, even more nervous than the first time she had the test done. When Sal finally emerged, Suzie stood and walked to her.

"Well, I've analyzed it at least four times and each time it came up negative."

"How is that possible?"

"I must have buggered it up last time. What are you going to do now?"

"Caroline is leaving John to be with me so we'll probably move to the city, some place where no one knows us."

We'll miss you both around here. It'll be odd not having Caroline's snobbery and your submissiveness. I meant that in a good way."

"Yes, I know, I'm Caroline's personal hand puppet. Thanks for everything anyway, Sal, I'm sure we'll miss this village too." Suzie gave her a hug and left to go back to Caroline's. On the way, she felt sort of disappointed and sad, she wouldn't mind having another baby.

When she arrived and walked in the door, she saw the suitcases and smiled. Caroline was in the kitchen drinking coffee. She entered and poured herself a cup.

"How did it go?"

"Turns out she made a mistake, I'm not pregnant."

"Oh, well, these things happen. Did you want another child?"

"I've thought about it but maybe I didn't want it badly enough." Suzie put her cup down and looked at Caroline very seriously. "I don't want you to come with me."

"What do you mean?"

"You belong here, I don't want you to go through the rest of your life feeling guilty for leaving. I will always love you, Caroline and I know you love me but I want you to stay."

"I understand but I don't belong here, there's no one to take care of anymore." Caroline began to cry.

"I don't need you to take care of me. You don't know how badly I want you to come but I think if you did, it would be for the wrong reason."

"So loving you is wrong?"

"In time I think you'll realize it is." Suzie kissed Caroline's cheek and wiped the tears away. "Goodbye Caroline."

She grabbed her own suitcases and walked out the door. As she walked down the driveway, she began crying herself. She had to drop the bags to wipe her eyes.

After Suzie left, Caroline went to the window and watched her leave. She pressed her hand against the glass and waited until Suzie was no longer visible. When she was sure she was gone, Caroline took the suitcases back to her room to unpack them. She remembered the letter for John; she picked it up and tore it into pieces. After everything was back to its original place, he laid on the bed and cried.

Suzie was tempted to turn around and go back but she knew she couldn't. She had to be strong now and begin a new life... in London.


End file.
